25 Comments
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Daniel Henderson's avatar

This was wonderful. The form and each part feels like it could stand on it's own as separate poems. The third is my favorite, every single line surprised me after the next.

David Donoghue's avatar

Thanks Daniel, I thought the same as it was coming together. I considered breaking them apart completely or trying to force them together but in the end thought I'd experiment with the 4 parts. I think it had the right balance and felt right when reading them.

Sarah Howard Lapine's avatar

"Here;

Time is a shadow creeping,

Deadlines are a child stirring,

Growth is a tree humming."

There is a tension to these lines that feels so human. I think it feels like the way time slows when we notice and the push/pull urgency of the so many things that fill our lives and require our presence and sometimes leave me unsettled with the unfinished-ness of it all, which I'm learning that mostly just has to be surrendered to - to know when it is time to end the day, put the shovel away, rest.

David Donoghue's avatar

Absolutely, it can be a challenge to know when its worth fighting back, if at all. But there are boundaries that push you through the days, weeks minutes whatever. And yes in the other poem I guess you see that at the micro level ticking away so fast, even in the slowness of the big picture.

Nuezen's avatar

Wonderful writing, David. Keep up the great work! 🙏

David Donoghue's avatar

Thanks so much for your kind words and the encouragement!

Mark Rico's avatar

Breaking the sections draws elegance into the earthiness and leads to section 3 hitting with wonderful weight. Bravo, and thank you for sharing this beautiful meditation.

Margaret Ann Silver's avatar

I love how the reader is completely transported into the poem and the work. It reminds me a little of Robert Frost.

David Donoghue's avatar

Whoa thanks so much. I am delighted and humbled to hear it has that effect for you. 🙏

dave carlson @davesideas's avatar

love this.

David Donoghue's avatar

Thank you so much for coming, reading and leaving a comment. I hugely appreciate it. 🙏

The Sea in Me's avatar

Really lovely writing, David. A touch of Heaney maybe. The lovely pauses and imagery.

To the light whistling through the apple tree.

“How have you been?”, she sang,

(Yes, yes)

David Donoghue's avatar

Thanks so much. 🙏 Ah certainly a hint of himself but I'd not be too quick to compare myself to such a writer 😅

Yeah I enjoyed writing this one so happy to see it received so well.

Mathew Snyder's avatar

Well done!

Gary Spangler's avatar

Wonderful, David.

David Donoghue's avatar

Thanks a million for reading and commenting, Gary! 🙏

Rich Moore's avatar

This is spectacular David!!! Something in the air these days, all things seem to lead back to trees!

David Donoghue's avatar

Yes, Ive just been out in it so much, they are in so much of my writing and words at the moment 😅 perhaps this season of writing should be named "Trees Trees and Trees"

Rich Moore's avatar

Ha!!! Treepalooza!!!

rena's avatar

I feel taken back in time to love a daisy and dandelion lawn.

David Donoghue's avatar

It's certainly not grass anyway, not even close 😅

Deborah Vass's avatar

Beautiful, David.

David Donoghue's avatar

Thanks so much Deborah!

David Donoghue's avatar

It'd certainly not grass anyway.. not ecen close!