22 Comments
User's avatar
rena's avatar

I like this. Now to read again to determine why this thing has me weeping.

David Donoghue's avatar

Thanks Rena. Hopefully happy weeps 🙏

Deborah Vass's avatar

David, I can't find the words to say how moving I found this.

David Donoghue's avatar

Wow Deborah thank you. And I read your post today and thought how you are experimenting and creating, and doing so much. I think that is what I was getting at here. Just this "other" thing that exists between all the work and the doing, the magic which grows.

Deborah Vass's avatar

It was so odd. I finished my post and then saw yours, it was serendipitous. It really spoke to me. Thank you.

Brian Funke's avatar

This stanza. 👏

Until it comes apart at the letter,

Until it reaches up through the line,

Until its sound is set adrift,

Until its meaning is floating in time,

Until it colours the blacks of your eyelids,

Until it whites the silence in your mind,

Until you forget its very shape and form,

Until you’ll not remember it at all.

David Donoghue's avatar

Wow thanks Brian! ☺️

Margaret Ann Silver's avatar

Lovely:

"Formed of wondrous line

Wired with frivolous letter,

Renewed in extreme sensation,

Drenched in vibrant colour"

David Donoghue's avatar

Thank you so much 🙏🙏🙏

Sarah Howard Lapine's avatar

The section where each line begins with until - it feels to me like the way time passes without notice when we're engaged in the thing we love to do, completely with body and mind and heart.

David Donoghue's avatar

Yes perhaps that state of flow where everything else blurs out of view and you are just in it. I can see that. I think that is where that is going - reaching that sort of fluency certainly :)

Thanks again for the support and taking the time to comment.

Fotini Masika's avatar

What a thing you've done, David! You caught me unprepared :)

David Donoghue's avatar

Thank you so much Fontini! I'll try to give you fair warning next time 😅☺️

Fotini Masika's avatar

Please don’t. I like good surprises!

LeeAnn Pickrell's avatar

And so full and present

It pulls together

The spaces

And memories

And smells

And sounds

And laughter cried,

And cries of laughter,

I love how you are working with repetition and the rhythm of the poem. Really wonderful.

David Donoghue's avatar

Definitely a lot of that in my writing lately. I am quite taken with rhythms and patterns so I suspect it comes from that. 😅 I do have to stop myself a bit sometimes.

Thanks for coming along again and commenting, amazing to have your support so regularly!

The Sea in Me's avatar

Really like the energetic lines, mixing with the more vague sensed ones. Resonates. Lovely David! Step-change in style these last two pieces.

David Donoghue's avatar

Yes, more step changes coming.. bit nervous about the next ones 😅 but i'm gonna give it a go and see how it lands. 🤷‍♂️

Weston Parker's avatar

I sure like the driving pulse.

David Donoghue's avatar

Thanks Weston, definitely a flow in there that I felt and went with it. Thanks for taking the time to comment!

User's avatar
Comment deleted
Jul 4, 2024
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David Donoghue's avatar

Thanks Treasa! 🙏🙏🙏

User's avatar
Comment deleted
Jul 4, 2024
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David Donoghue's avatar

Yes yes! His work is fantastic!